Too much gin, very little bucket
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
