im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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