Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just had sex on a roof
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
