Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize