i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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