singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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