He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
