I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize