god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
