Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
