Me too!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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