Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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