Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize