she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize