My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
