U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
