Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
