I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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