I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize