Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
