So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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