I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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