Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
