he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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