i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
