Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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