if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
