You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
