I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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