I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
