apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
