they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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