I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize