I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
