i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
