he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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