Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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