I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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