I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
bring money and cleavage
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
