i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
