found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
How does one acquire holy water?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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