You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
