We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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