Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Randomize
