I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Randomize