Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
