i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
