look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
