so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
