he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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