We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize