I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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