All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
