yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
