Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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