I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
