I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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