just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He has the fingertips of a God
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize