its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize