The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
