I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
