It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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