I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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