yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize