you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize